It's Here - Heroes Convention - Tomorrow!

I am packing even as we speak, and preparing to head for Charlotte on the morrow for three days of comics hijinks's. I may not get into any trouble while I'm there, but one never knows.

Posting will likely take a backseat to the convention festivities, so there may not be anything new from me until late Sunday. "Gal" Friday will be added later tonight, so don't fret boys!

Let me also take the time to thank my growing coalition of "Followers". I appreciate your patronage and the comments that you make from time-to-time. I hope to continue making it worth stopping by. Upcoming in the Catacombs, will be more "How NOT to do a Superhero Movie", the kick-off of my 1980's Flashbacks, a few interviews that I'm planning on lining up in Charlotte, the return of Rulah Jungle Goddess, and lots and lots of naked women.

Nah, just kidding about that last one (but as you can see I'm either already under the influence of alcohol or simply giddy from the impending "fun" of the show).

Have a great weekend, wish me luck and smoke 'em if you got 'em!

How NOT to Do a Superhero Movie: Steel (1997)

Steel was a 1997 film starring basketball legend Shaquille O'Neal and future X-Files star Annabeth Gish. It was based on the DC Comics character John Henry Irons, but the film was considered a huge flop both critically and financially when it was released. Steel was produced for an estimated $16 million, but barely grossed $1 million in the U.S., including a mere $900,000 in its opening weekend.

The film was intended to be a spin-off from a new Superman film that used the Death of Superman storyline (which originally introduced the character in the comics). However the project languished in development hell for so long that the spin-off moved forward without the film it was to be attached to and due to an insufficient budget, most of the props (especially Steel's suit) were taken from the Los Angeles junkyard.

Heroes Convention Pre-Commission (Done)!

I've gotta admit that my anticipation for this weeks Heroes Convention mounts with each passing day. Three full days of pure comics bliss, comfort food, booze and loose women. I've just gotta tell ya' that it can't be beaten!

I also took advantage of an offer made by indie artist David Wachter (Scar Tissue, Guns of Shadow Valley) to commission a sketch prior to the show. I like to check as many of the links that some of the guests allow as I can before the blessed day rolls around, and doing so allows me to familiarize myself with the work of folks that I am not familiar with. (Funny how that works out, right?) I will be picking up the original art of this nice drawing once I hit Charlotte on Friday morning, but for those of you who will be unable to attend, here's a nice little glimpse of pre-convention goodness: The Black Terror.

Enjoy!

True Blood (2nd Season Premiere): "Nothing but the Blood"

The second season of True Blood premiered on HBO last night, and while I didn’t follow the show beyond a casual glimpse last season, after hearing that star Anna Paquin (who played Rogue in the X-Men film trilogy) was going to get quite naked in the episode – I just couldn’t resist.

She did, and it was well worth my time. Yummy! It has also been widely reported that Ms. Paquin has become romantically involved in "real" life with her costar Stephen Moyer, and I appreciate the chemistry that the two have onscreen. After drooling over young Anna’s "goodies", I definitely envy the guy for all of the non-vampiric noshing that he must be enjoying off camera.

True Blood may not be for everyone’s tastes, but if you don’t mind a little graphic violence, sexuality and mature themes, give it a try. Of course, there are also redneck vampires, shapeshifting dogboys, black magic women, etc. Maybe we’ll get to see even more of Anna Paquin/"Sookie" Stackhouse’s naughty bits on subsequent episodes, and hey, they’ve also got the uber-sexy Michelle Forbes (Ro Laren on Star Trek: The Next Generation and Admiral Cain on Battlestar: Galactica) on the show too. I really wouldn’t mind seeing her doff her duds for the camera once in a while.

Although I've never read any of the Charlaine Harris novels upon which this series is based, if they ever need to cast a king of the Dixie vampires, I think Christopher Walken would fit right in with this crowd.

Microheroes for fun, not profit!

My pal, Wayne has just done a brief post on micro heroes, which he has apparently discovered recently, so I thought I would put up a few of my own - which I did just for fun (and props to the creative souls whose work I may have adopted, adapted or scavenged in order to get my own version to look the way that I wanted it too).

Wikipedia says that micro heroes are basic pixel representations of comic book characters, that are drawn in a very specific cartoon style and displayed all over the web. That about sums them up!

Above (left-to-right) are three micros of "Big Bang" Universe characters: Galahad, Badge and Sphinx.

How NOT to do a Superhero Movie: The Fantastic Four (1994)

The Fantastic Four was produced by low-budget specialist Roger Corman in 1994 to secure copyright to the property. Although the director, actors, and other participants were led to believe otherwise, the producers never intended it for release. Based on the long-running Marvel comic book, this version like its more recent cinematic counterpart also featured the origin of the Fantastic Four and their first battle with the evil Doctor Doom. There was also a mysterious Mole Man-like creature that was referred to as The Jeweler.

The cast and crew did the film for low salaries after being told that if it did not get released to theaters, it would be used as the pilot for a potential television series. Among the duped were Alex Hyde-White as Mr. Fantastic, Jay Underwood as the Human Torch, Rebecca Staab as the Invisible Girl and Michael Bailey Smith as Ben Grimm (another actor wore the rubber suit to portray the Thing).

Filming lasted a month and ended in January 1993, after which post-production began. The erstwhile cast gave numerous press interviews and attended comic book conventions in good faith, however in late 1993; the studio announced that the film would not be released. If you are curious, seek it out in the bootleg bins of any comic book convention in North America.

"Gal" Friday! Miss Atom 2009

Russian Ploy to Make Nuclear Scientists Out of its Women! [If so, count me in, comrade!]

Miss Atom is a beauty contest that is open to working women in Russia's nuclear industry, or female students who are studying nuclear-related subjects. The aim of the competition, which has been run annually since 2004, is to promote the nuclear industry among Russian girls as a popular career choice. General director Ilya Platonov of the company Nuclear.Ru, which has run the competition since 2004, told ABC News, "We wanted to show the general public that the nuclear industry is an industry like any other, and that ordinary people work in it, including young attractive women." Miss Atom 2009 was won by Jekaterina Bulhakowa (pictured; right).

There Is Only One Week Remaining Until Heroes Convention

In one week, from today, the annual Heroes Convention kicks off in the Queen City of the Carolina's - Charlotte, North Carolina.

With a guest list numbering close to two hundred amateur and professional comic book industry faves, there is bound to be something for everyone. I've mentioned the marquee names in an earlier post, and you can also expect to see Nick Cardy, Gary Friedrich, Ethan Van Sciver, Bill Sienkiewicz, Joe Jusko, Herb Trimpe, Dick Giordano, Irwin Hasen, Stephanie Gladden, Don Rosa, Colleen Doran, Don Sherwood, Jim Scancarelli, Mark Waid, Budd Root and Roy Thomas, but even these fine talents represent just a portion of yet another stellar line-up that Heroes offers up on a yearly basis. It's become part of the industry lexicon that the Heroes Convention enjoys one of the most loyal rebound effects among its great guest list, with numerous top talents returning again and again over it's more than a quarter century in existence.

The show even shifted to a bigger hall within the excellent Charlotte Convention Center once DC and Marvel Comics opted to return to the show as exhibitors, picking up an additional 20,000 square feet of space. Among other exhibitors of note are Adhouse Books, Boom Studios, Top Shelf and S.C.A.D. (The Savannah College of Art and Design).

The Catacombs simply loves the Heroes Convention, and that includes the main "Heroes" man himself, Shelton Drum (pictured above; left). Shelton has become a pal over the years since I first started going to his mini-cons, when I was in high school, and the events have only gotten bigger & better over the years. I have had the great good fortune to meet so many of my favorite comic book writers and artists, without having to travel very far afield, thanks to his efforts. Now before I get too teary-eyed to continue, let me encourage all of you to pack a bag, empty out your bank account and head for Charlotte. You'll be glad that you did and if not, that just leaves more "fun" for the rest of us!

This guy should play Plastic Man!

Jeremy Howard has appeared in films such as Galaxy Quest, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Men in Black II, The Haunted Mansion, Lady in the Water, Sydney White and Hotel for Dogs. He has also appeared in television series like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Entourage, Malcolm in the Middle, Undeclared and Scrubs.

If you pay close attention to the new 2009 Wendy's commercial, you will catch a glimpse of him as "Time for Coffee Break Guy", where he looks like he could seriously pass for golden age hero, Plastic Man.

I just thought that I would throw that out there and see if it would stick for any potential film studio that may want to develop the former Quality Comics (and current owner, DC Comics) property.

No need for multi-millions to sign this guy, AND he has demonstrated the comedic chops to pull off the role of "Eel" O'Brien aka Plas.

Now, who could we get to play Woozy Winks?

How NOT to do a Superhero Movie: Justice League of America (1997)

Back in the mid-to-late 1980's, writers Keith Giffen and J.M. DeMatteis headed up a popular Justice League comic book series for DC that was rebooted after the Crisis on Infinite Earths.

In 1997, the CBS television network ordered a pilot for a proposed weekly series, based upon the JLA from the Giffen/DeMatteis era. Justice League of America centered on a female meteorologist who gained superpowers and her subsequent induction into the Justice League, while the city of New Metro is held to ransom by a terrorist armed with a "weather control device." Justice League of America never aired in the United States (although it was shown in a few non-US markets). A bootlegged version of the film can usually be found at comic book conventions.

Reviews of the film have been mixed at best, with common complaints of serious plot holes, poor special effects, bad costuming and that the league members deviated heavily from their established source characters. The kindest criticisms have compared the movie to, "Friends" with superpowers!

Comic book writer Mark Waid has described it this way, "80 minutes of my life I'll never get back."

The cast included David Ogden Stiers (Mash) as the Martian Manhunter, John Kassir (Tales From the Crypt) as the Atom, Miguel Ferrer as the villain Dr. Eno/Weatherman and David Krumholtz (Numbers) in a supporting role. Other DC heroes who were featured included, Fire & Ice, Green Lantern and the Flash, but those roles were filled by largely unknown actors (who have thankfully remained that way).

Editorial Diatribe from the Catacombs

In case you didn’t know, the Battle for the Cowl is over and the original Boy Wonder has now succeeded his former mentor in the role of the Dark Knight. Sadly for every old-schooler out here, with the exception of Newsarama voters who overwhelmingly favor the rebooted "Batman and Robin" title, yet another irritating brat has adopted the mantle of Robin. Didn’t we do this all before with Jason Todd? And we’ve all seen where that ultimately led. (Hint: think "Hush", or since DC quickly changed the identity of that more recently revealed villain, I guess not!)

Firestorm, the Atom, the Question and the Spectre (among others) have had their classic, heroic roles ceded over to more politically-correct, ethnic versions who’ve co-opted their names through editorial fiat and happy hordes of non-Caucasians have purchased those series in such vast amounts that sales across the line have been bolstered to much success. Oops! I spoke too soon, that hasn’t actually happened, but at least fans of the original "models" can take heart in reading all of their old adventures. Yeah! That’s a bunch of bullshit too.

Lest we forget, characters are also coming out of the closet left and right, so we’ve been treated to a round of male and female heroes coming to terms with their own sexuality, often in the guises of established identities that were apparently ripe for the plucking.

Now, I’m not going to smear any of these efforts, that is, beyond the implication that as a reader (of, let’s say at least a few decades) I am just not "pleased".

It’s really not as if comics couldn’t stand to introduce such characters, and reach out to every demographic. Hey, it’s been done before. Don’t believe me?

Let me throw a few names at you: Black Panther, John Stewart, Luke Cage, Falcon, Storm, Vixen, and Shang Chi, uh let’s see, maybe …. Northstar. So it can be "effectively" done if the intent is there, and you know, none of these terrific characters stepped on the toes of any hero who preceded them. Now, it IS interesting that it has taken the latest generation of editors, writers & artists to finally strip away the conceit that us old-timers didn’t quite understand that the former Hero for Hire’s original yellow & blue costume was actually the pussy-whipped version, and imply that a shaved head, goatee and regular street threads were all that was necessary to "validate" and "redeem" Luke Cage as a truly heroic character. Sweet Christmas, I’m so damn glad that they cleared that up for us (and let’s not even mention the silver tiara). Okay?

I suppose readers can take heart that Wonder Woman, and some of the other established super ladies of comics, haven’t yet succumbed to graphic rape and other forms of sexual coercion while in the line of duty. No. That fate fell to poor Sue Dibny, but as much as I hate to burst anyone’s bubble, it is bound to happen sooner or late.

Before I close out today’s rant, let me clear up one point that some of you may be curious about: What’s the point of all this?

Nothing, really! I’m just saying, what was the point of all of that jockeying of characterization over the last several years. Well-established heroes were tossed onto the compost heap, just so the same gang of idiots could "say" that they were the "guys" who did this, or did that. I mean just how special is it to be the writer or artist of the fourth, eighth, or twelfth Superman, Batman, Spider-Man or X-Men title each and every month?

Back when each of those properties were featured in only a single title (or two), the "events" happened within the pages of their monthly adventures. Now marketing gurus have stripped all of that away, and given us an unending assortment of crossovers that lead nowhere, except to the next crossover. No wonder today’s creators write story "arcs" for the "trades"; it’s the only way to get noticed within the vast miasma of the comics industry’s massive pile of publishing pabulum.

I am actually not in a bad mood as I pen this ramble. I am gearing up for next weeks Heroes Convention in Charlotte, NC. and I know that for the same $3 and $4 dollars that typical comics currently sell for per issue, I can walk in with a minimal amount of cash money and walk out with a stack of 1970’s stuff in highly collectable condition that is FUN to read, beautiful to look at and that feels like it belongs to the same fictional universe that it is supposed to be a part of.

Today, at Marvel for instance, I wouldn’t know where to begin; their regular line of books (if they even still have such), their Ultimate line, and Marvel Adventures stuff. I don’t even know where to begin, and just when I do opt to purchase something that they publish, it has to be something like "The Twelve" and we all know what happened with that top-selling, unfinished series.

Random art above; left by the late Art Saaf.

From the Dust Bin: The Inferior 5

The Inferior Five (or I5) was a DC Comics series that originally premiered in Showcase #62 (1966). It was created by E. Nelson Bridwell, Joe Orlando and Mike Esposito, the group was intended as a parody of all the superhero teams whose members had such great powers that they could have solved any of the crimes put before them singlehandedly, but the I5 had to work together since none of them could have effectively fought crime on their own.

The premise was that the characters were sons or daughters of members of a superhero team called the Freedom Brigade (a parody of the Justice League of America) and most of the I5 were takeoffs of other popular DC characters, although Merryman's appearance was specifically modeled on comedian Woody Allen.

After appearing in Showcase #62, 63, and 65 (1966), they received their own book which lasted twelve issues. The first ten featured all-new material published between 1967 and 1968. In one memorable adventure, they met a group of superheroes who looked deceptively similar to certain Marvel Comics superheroes, but slightly changed to avoid copyright problems, and the I5 fought alongside them to repel an invasion of aliens with hypnotic eyes (and garlic breath). Yuck!

Issues #11 and 12 were published in 1972, and were all reprints, except for new covers. Thereafter they have only appeared sporadically, most notably in Showcase #100, one or two panels in Crisis on Infinite Earths, The Oz-Wonderland War #3 (March 1986), in a superhero Limbo in Animal Man.

The Inferior Five were comprised of: Merryman, the son of The Patriot and Lady Liberty. He is a weakling in a jester outfit and the chosen leader of the group. Awkwardman, son of Mr. Might and the Mermaid. He is super-strong and able to live underwater, but is also very clumsy. The Blimp, the overweight son of Captain Swift, who could fly like his father but, as he lacked his father's speed powers, could only fly at super slow speeds — with a tail wind. White Feather, son of The Bowman. He was a superb archer when he didn't think anyone was watching; people made him nervous (as did just about everything else) and Dumb Bunny, the stupid but super-strong daughter of Princess Power.