How NOT to do a Superhero Movie: The Fantastic Four (1994)

The Fantastic Four was produced by low-budget specialist Roger Corman in 1994 to secure copyright to the property. Although the director, actors, and other participants were led to believe otherwise, the producers never intended it for release. Based on the long-running Marvel comic book, this version like its more recent cinematic counterpart also featured the origin of the Fantastic Four and their first battle with the evil Doctor Doom. There was also a mysterious Mole Man-like creature that was referred to as The Jeweler.

The cast and crew did the film for low salaries after being told that if it did not get released to theaters, it would be used as the pilot for a potential television series. Among the duped were Alex Hyde-White as Mr. Fantastic, Jay Underwood as the Human Torch, Rebecca Staab as the Invisible Girl and Michael Bailey Smith as Ben Grimm (another actor wore the rubber suit to portray the Thing).

Filming lasted a month and ended in January 1993, after which post-production began. The erstwhile cast gave numerous press interviews and attended comic book conventions in good faith, however in late 1993; the studio announced that the film would not be released. If you are curious, seek it out in the bootleg bins of any comic book convention in North America.

"Gal" Friday! Miss Atom 2009

Russian Ploy to Make Nuclear Scientists Out of its Women! [If so, count me in, comrade!]

Miss Atom is a beauty contest that is open to working women in Russia's nuclear industry, or female students who are studying nuclear-related subjects. The aim of the competition, which has been run annually since 2004, is to promote the nuclear industry among Russian girls as a popular career choice. General director Ilya Platonov of the company Nuclear.Ru, which has run the competition since 2004, told ABC News, "We wanted to show the general public that the nuclear industry is an industry like any other, and that ordinary people work in it, including young attractive women." Miss Atom 2009 was won by Jekaterina Bulhakowa (pictured; right).

There Is Only One Week Remaining Until Heroes Convention

In one week, from today, the annual Heroes Convention kicks off in the Queen City of the Carolina's - Charlotte, North Carolina.

With a guest list numbering close to two hundred amateur and professional comic book industry faves, there is bound to be something for everyone. I've mentioned the marquee names in an earlier post, and you can also expect to see Nick Cardy, Gary Friedrich, Ethan Van Sciver, Bill Sienkiewicz, Joe Jusko, Herb Trimpe, Dick Giordano, Irwin Hasen, Stephanie Gladden, Don Rosa, Colleen Doran, Don Sherwood, Jim Scancarelli, Mark Waid, Budd Root and Roy Thomas, but even these fine talents represent just a portion of yet another stellar line-up that Heroes offers up on a yearly basis. It's become part of the industry lexicon that the Heroes Convention enjoys one of the most loyal rebound effects among its great guest list, with numerous top talents returning again and again over it's more than a quarter century in existence.

The show even shifted to a bigger hall within the excellent Charlotte Convention Center once DC and Marvel Comics opted to return to the show as exhibitors, picking up an additional 20,000 square feet of space. Among other exhibitors of note are Adhouse Books, Boom Studios, Top Shelf and S.C.A.D. (The Savannah College of Art and Design).

The Catacombs simply loves the Heroes Convention, and that includes the main "Heroes" man himself, Shelton Drum (pictured above; left). Shelton has become a pal over the years since I first started going to his mini-cons, when I was in high school, and the events have only gotten bigger & better over the years. I have had the great good fortune to meet so many of my favorite comic book writers and artists, without having to travel very far afield, thanks to his efforts. Now before I get too teary-eyed to continue, let me encourage all of you to pack a bag, empty out your bank account and head for Charlotte. You'll be glad that you did and if not, that just leaves more "fun" for the rest of us!

This guy should play Plastic Man!

Jeremy Howard has appeared in films such as Galaxy Quest, How the Grinch Stole Christmas, Men in Black II, The Haunted Mansion, Lady in the Water, Sydney White and Hotel for Dogs. He has also appeared in television series like Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Entourage, Malcolm in the Middle, Undeclared and Scrubs.

If you pay close attention to the new 2009 Wendy's commercial, you will catch a glimpse of him as "Time for Coffee Break Guy", where he looks like he could seriously pass for golden age hero, Plastic Man.

I just thought that I would throw that out there and see if it would stick for any potential film studio that may want to develop the former Quality Comics (and current owner, DC Comics) property.

No need for multi-millions to sign this guy, AND he has demonstrated the comedic chops to pull off the role of "Eel" O'Brien aka Plas.

Now, who could we get to play Woozy Winks?

How NOT to do a Superhero Movie: Justice League of America (1997)

Back in the mid-to-late 1980's, writers Keith Giffen and J.M. DeMatteis headed up a popular Justice League comic book series for DC that was rebooted after the Crisis on Infinite Earths.

In 1997, the CBS television network ordered a pilot for a proposed weekly series, based upon the JLA from the Giffen/DeMatteis era. Justice League of America centered on a female meteorologist who gained superpowers and her subsequent induction into the Justice League, while the city of New Metro is held to ransom by a terrorist armed with a "weather control device." Justice League of America never aired in the United States (although it was shown in a few non-US markets). A bootlegged version of the film can usually be found at comic book conventions.

Reviews of the film have been mixed at best, with common complaints of serious plot holes, poor special effects, bad costuming and that the league members deviated heavily from their established source characters. The kindest criticisms have compared the movie to, "Friends" with superpowers!

Comic book writer Mark Waid has described it this way, "80 minutes of my life I'll never get back."

The cast included David Ogden Stiers (Mash) as the Martian Manhunter, John Kassir (Tales From the Crypt) as the Atom, Miguel Ferrer as the villain Dr. Eno/Weatherman and David Krumholtz (Numbers) in a supporting role. Other DC heroes who were featured included, Fire & Ice, Green Lantern and the Flash, but those roles were filled by largely unknown actors (who have thankfully remained that way).

Editorial Diatribe from the Catacombs

In case you didn’t know, the Battle for the Cowl is over and the original Boy Wonder has now succeeded his former mentor in the role of the Dark Knight. Sadly for every old-schooler out here, with the exception of Newsarama voters who overwhelmingly favor the rebooted "Batman and Robin" title, yet another irritating brat has adopted the mantle of Robin. Didn’t we do this all before with Jason Todd? And we’ve all seen where that ultimately led. (Hint: think "Hush", or since DC quickly changed the identity of that more recently revealed villain, I guess not!)

Firestorm, the Atom, the Question and the Spectre (among others) have had their classic, heroic roles ceded over to more politically-correct, ethnic versions who’ve co-opted their names through editorial fiat and happy hordes of non-Caucasians have purchased those series in such vast amounts that sales across the line have been bolstered to much success. Oops! I spoke too soon, that hasn’t actually happened, but at least fans of the original "models" can take heart in reading all of their old adventures. Yeah! That’s a bunch of bullshit too.

Lest we forget, characters are also coming out of the closet left and right, so we’ve been treated to a round of male and female heroes coming to terms with their own sexuality, often in the guises of established identities that were apparently ripe for the plucking.

Now, I’m not going to smear any of these efforts, that is, beyond the implication that as a reader (of, let’s say at least a few decades) I am just not "pleased".

It’s really not as if comics couldn’t stand to introduce such characters, and reach out to every demographic. Hey, it’s been done before. Don’t believe me?

Let me throw a few names at you: Black Panther, John Stewart, Luke Cage, Falcon, Storm, Vixen, and Shang Chi, uh let’s see, maybe …. Northstar. So it can be "effectively" done if the intent is there, and you know, none of these terrific characters stepped on the toes of any hero who preceded them. Now, it IS interesting that it has taken the latest generation of editors, writers & artists to finally strip away the conceit that us old-timers didn’t quite understand that the former Hero for Hire’s original yellow & blue costume was actually the pussy-whipped version, and imply that a shaved head, goatee and regular street threads were all that was necessary to "validate" and "redeem" Luke Cage as a truly heroic character. Sweet Christmas, I’m so damn glad that they cleared that up for us (and let’s not even mention the silver tiara). Okay?

I suppose readers can take heart that Wonder Woman, and some of the other established super ladies of comics, haven’t yet succumbed to graphic rape and other forms of sexual coercion while in the line of duty. No. That fate fell to poor Sue Dibny, but as much as I hate to burst anyone’s bubble, it is bound to happen sooner or late.

Before I close out today’s rant, let me clear up one point that some of you may be curious about: What’s the point of all this?

Nothing, really! I’m just saying, what was the point of all of that jockeying of characterization over the last several years. Well-established heroes were tossed onto the compost heap, just so the same gang of idiots could "say" that they were the "guys" who did this, or did that. I mean just how special is it to be the writer or artist of the fourth, eighth, or twelfth Superman, Batman, Spider-Man or X-Men title each and every month?

Back when each of those properties were featured in only a single title (or two), the "events" happened within the pages of their monthly adventures. Now marketing gurus have stripped all of that away, and given us an unending assortment of crossovers that lead nowhere, except to the next crossover. No wonder today’s creators write story "arcs" for the "trades"; it’s the only way to get noticed within the vast miasma of the comics industry’s massive pile of publishing pabulum.

I am actually not in a bad mood as I pen this ramble. I am gearing up for next weeks Heroes Convention in Charlotte, NC. and I know that for the same $3 and $4 dollars that typical comics currently sell for per issue, I can walk in with a minimal amount of cash money and walk out with a stack of 1970’s stuff in highly collectable condition that is FUN to read, beautiful to look at and that feels like it belongs to the same fictional universe that it is supposed to be a part of.

Today, at Marvel for instance, I wouldn’t know where to begin; their regular line of books (if they even still have such), their Ultimate line, and Marvel Adventures stuff. I don’t even know where to begin, and just when I do opt to purchase something that they publish, it has to be something like "The Twelve" and we all know what happened with that top-selling, unfinished series.

Random art above; left by the late Art Saaf.

From the Dust Bin: The Inferior 5

The Inferior Five (or I5) was a DC Comics series that originally premiered in Showcase #62 (1966). It was created by E. Nelson Bridwell, Joe Orlando and Mike Esposito, the group was intended as a parody of all the superhero teams whose members had such great powers that they could have solved any of the crimes put before them singlehandedly, but the I5 had to work together since none of them could have effectively fought crime on their own.

The premise was that the characters were sons or daughters of members of a superhero team called the Freedom Brigade (a parody of the Justice League of America) and most of the I5 were takeoffs of other popular DC characters, although Merryman's appearance was specifically modeled on comedian Woody Allen.

After appearing in Showcase #62, 63, and 65 (1966), they received their own book which lasted twelve issues. The first ten featured all-new material published between 1967 and 1968. In one memorable adventure, they met a group of superheroes who looked deceptively similar to certain Marvel Comics superheroes, but slightly changed to avoid copyright problems, and the I5 fought alongside them to repel an invasion of aliens with hypnotic eyes (and garlic breath). Yuck!

Issues #11 and 12 were published in 1972, and were all reprints, except for new covers. Thereafter they have only appeared sporadically, most notably in Showcase #100, one or two panels in Crisis on Infinite Earths, The Oz-Wonderland War #3 (March 1986), in a superhero Limbo in Animal Man.

The Inferior Five were comprised of: Merryman, the son of The Patriot and Lady Liberty. He is a weakling in a jester outfit and the chosen leader of the group. Awkwardman, son of Mr. Might and the Mermaid. He is super-strong and able to live underwater, but is also very clumsy. The Blimp, the overweight son of Captain Swift, who could fly like his father but, as he lacked his father's speed powers, could only fly at super slow speeds — with a tail wind. White Feather, son of The Bowman. He was a superb archer when he didn't think anyone was watching; people made him nervous (as did just about everything else) and Dumb Bunny, the stupid but super-strong daughter of Princess Power.

"The Flat Man" from Spellbound #3 (May 1952; Atlas/Marvel Comics)

Here is a short 4-page tale from May 1952's Spellbound #3 which was published by Marvel Comics (back when they operated under the Atlas Comics banner). The Grand Comics Database lists the writer as Hank Chapman, but they do not identify the artist.

Steve Banes sent this story to me last summer as a perk, so let me offer my belated thanks to him for the courtesy; although I've added that issues cover to the mix.

"The Flat Man" relates the experience of a small time hood who lets things unfortunately get away from him and thus pays the ultimate price. Enjoy!

65 Years Ago Today: D-Day

On June 6, 1944, the "D-Day" invasion of Europe took place during World War II as Allied forces stormed the beaches of Normandy, France.

There were 156,000 Allied troops involved in the assault and 73,000 of those were American. There were 80,000 German defenders arrayed against them. 12,000 Allied fighting ships, 804 transport craft and 4,125 landing vehicles ferried those young men into battle or touched down on those beaches (or tried to). 10,000 Allied aircraft dropped supplies or combat paratroopers into withering enemy fire.

In the end, 9,758 Allied soldiers, sailors and air corpsmen lost their lives on that day. 6,603 of them were Americans.

Thanks to that greatest generation of Americans and our staunch allies, Nazi Germany and the other Axis powers were ultimately defeated.

It is in humble recognition of the sacrifices that our grandmothers and grandfathers from that era experienced, that the Catacombs humbly expresses our deepest thanks.

It is also worth mentioning in a comic book-oriented blog, that the golden age publishers, writers and artists of our favorite heroes took note of the unprecedented historical events of those years and had the fictional mystery men participate by calling for readers to buy war bonds, or ration certain products. Hell, within the pages (or on the covers) of those now rare comics, the heroes even slugged it out right along side the servicemen. Many of those creators also enlisted or were drafted into the military.

It may seem passé these days for modern audiences, but back then even Batman & Robin took up machine guns against the enemy, Superman & Captain Marvel hopped astride bombs or rockets that were earmarked for Tojo & company. Captain America himself socked it to "Uncle" Adolf Hitler on his first issue cover. Millions of comic books were carried into Europe folded into the duffle bags and back pockets of thousands upon thousands of young men, as cheap entertainment for the long months and years ahead.

It is difficult to separate the comics themselves from that era, because so many of them reflected the times. In our politically correct current climate, even the stereotypical portrayals of certain racial groups often prove problematical to cite, but WWII made its mark not only on the world, but in the comic books and comic strips of that age.

"Gal" Friday! Firestar

Firestar was originally created for the animated series Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends. The creators had originally wanted to use the Human Torch, but the rights to the character were tied up. Kathy Garver provided her voice. Neither the animated series or a subsequent one-shot Spider-Man and His Amazing Friends comic book (which Marvel adapted from an episode for print) are considered part of standard Marvel continuity.

Firestar (Angelica "Angel" Jones) is a mutant with the ability to generate and manipulate microwave radiation, which allows her to generate intense heat and flames and to fly. Firestar essentially harnesses ambient microwave radiation from her environment, making her powers far stronger in an environment such as space, where the concentration of microwaves is much greater than within a planetary atmosphere. In the comics version, she has been a member of the Hellions, the New Warriors, and the Avengers.

Firestar was one of the few mutants left on the planet with her powers intact, after the Scarlet Witch altered reality and decimated the mutant population, nor was Firestar among the New Warriors who died in the catastrophe that sparked the events of Civil War.

Illustration by George Perez.

In Memorium: David Carradine & Shek Kin

Genre fans lost two iconic martial arts superstars over the last couple of Days. David Carradine, who came from a family line of actors, and who parlayed his name into dozens of roles over the past several decades in western, sci-fi, horror and action films, has passed away in unusual circumstances in Bangkok. Carradine achieved his greatest fame on the 1970's television series, Kung Fu as Kwai Chang Caine - a Shaolin priest wandering the American West.

Shek Kin has also passed away, and I am unclear of the actual spelling of his name here, but he appeared in dozens of martial arts films before he became immortalized as the nefarious druglord Mr. Han, opposite John Saxon and the great Bruce Lee in the classic martial arts film, Enter the Dragon.

To the families, friends and fans of these two terrific performers, the Catacombs sends many condolences.

1970's Flashback: Gladiator (Marvel Comics)

Due to his role in the current War of Kings event, I thought that it would be nice to profile one of my favorite X-Men supporting characters. Gladiator first appeared in X-Men #107 (October 1977), he was created by writer Chris Claremont and artist Dave Cockrum in homage to Superman (since the Imperial Guard itself is an analog of the silver age Legion of Super-Heroes).

Gladiator is the Praetor (or leader) of the elite corps of the Shi'ar Imperial Guard — an army of powerful beings that enforce Shi'ar Imperial law on all planets within the Shi'ar Galaxy. The elite corps also protects and carries out the personal directives of the majestor or majestrix (emperor or empress) of the Shi’ar Empire. His given name is Kallark.

Gladiator's first known encounter with humans occurred when the Imperial Guard battled against the X-Men at the command of then-Shi'ar Emperor D'Ken. Gladiator and the Imperial Guard later fought the X-Men when new Shi'ar Empress Lilandra Neramani and Professor Charles Xavier arranged a trial-by-combat to determine the fate of the then out of control Dark Phoenix. Later still, Gladiator aided the X-Men in battle against the renegade Imperial Guardsmen who were serving the traitorous Shi'ar, Lord Samedar.

Gladiator once arrived on Earth and battled the Fantastic Four in the mistaken belief that they were Skrull shape-shifters. With the help of both Spider-Man and Captain America, the real Skrulls were exposed and captured. Gladiator was also present at the intergalactic trial of Reed Richards (for saving the life of Galactus).

Lilandra's sister, Deathbird, eventually staged a successful coup and became the new majestrix of the Shi'ar Empire. Despite Gladiator's loyalty to Lilandra and his reservations about certain aspects of Deathbird's rule, he continued to serve the Shi'ar Empire as Praetor of the Imperial Guard.

As a member of the Strontian race, Gladiator possesses a number of superhuman capabilities as a result of his unique alien physiology. He has superhuman strength, speed, stamina, durability, and reflexes, and is able to survive without breathing for an unrevealed period of time. The most powerful member of the Imperial Guard, Gladiator has performed feats such as lifting skyscrapers, staggering foes with heat vision, freezing them in place with frost breath, moving in space at hyper-speed and surviving supernovas. He has been described as capable of ripping planets from their orbits, and collapsing "the heart of stars" with his bare hands. Reed Richards originally theorized that Gladiator's powers were in part psionic,and this has been confirmed in his later appearances. It has also been discovered that Gladiator is vulnerable to some forms of radiation and a telepathic suggestion that causes him to doubt his powers will also weaken him considerably.

Above; left: Gladiator statue by Hard Hero (under license from Marvel) and illustration by Rob Liefeld.